EYNA!

Lol hi everyone~! zzz sorry. But i guess I am not going to continue what I post on the previous time. :D so lets talk about today story :P
so yeah today I wake so late. as usual holiday let me free a bit. as when school restart again, i have to wake up so early in the morning. ^^ so yeah, i straight away go mapling as i wake up. :P Then, I go to have breakfast. Mom cook some mee (i dont know what its name) then i go eat some porridge. :D The porridge dont have taste. o.o but mom said, its salty. So weird.
SO yeah, i am having my shower very late today. Not going to tell you what time. If that person know, he/she will also scold me for that. phew. i just hope my school life day end le and then i can entre poly or uni already. or study overseas. :D because, i dont like the school here. its not because not good quality. its good . but, i am having problem with meeting people. :D There is lot of 'so-called' bestfriend or friend :) so yeah, so hard to trust them. luckly i have brother :)
Well, he did ask me before.. why I never be so close with other people. and ... he said i always be on my own world. Actually I am too scared to go out. i like to be by my own self and be friend.. with people around me only. i scared if people is trying to bully me or hurt me. Since i am too dependent to my parents. =X but now,,  i am not anymore. so.. i am scared.
i dont know why but my mom looks like she didnt like me. i regret to be born. i regret much. as no one can love me as how much i love them. start from family. i was being hurt and hit since i was kid. no justice too. i wont forget about those bad memories. its hurt me much. then as i enter school.. got friend who backstab me. got friend who grabbers. got friend who lie at me.. got friend who hurt me. got friend who talk behind me. thats make me unsafe and scared.
my previous life make me scared. i am not a good girl before. now.. i dont know. i am scared when any guy touch me. it remind me of my ex-boyfriend who touch me. theres no one ever touch me.. i mean guy of course.. bt when i let him hold my hand... then he break my heart.. i already lost trust to any guy.. or even believing them is so hard. its make me so hard to accept love or find it.
i know at first i like my kor. but to think back, since he didnt like me too... i think we just better be friend and brother and sister. i dont want to let him hurt. so , i think i will sacrifice for my friendship :) friends make me happier.. than being in love. when im in love, i think, i usually forget about my own friend. so yeah, i guess, to make it not happen, its better for me to be just friend with any guy.. :)
also i have to focus on my study :) and i will always keep my promise not to start relationship with anyone until my kor approve it ! :)

-loves everyone =)