My unfinished story :D

This is part 1

This is part 2

Hope you guys enjoy it :D

Hy everyone.

First of all .. I would like to say that I will be busy nowadays. I've to go to study for my future. I hope you guys will understand it. I think, maybe I am here just talking to myself. I don't know if there is a person reading this blog though. However, I am still hoping. I am a girl with hopes.

Oh yeah, I am lately busy with my study and knitting. I am actually want to give someone present for his birthday and I hope I did manage to finish it. Erm, I don't think I have guts to give him this. He have his own life and start forgetting me. I don't know why am I still not forgetting him. Its hard and I don't want it to happen. I miss playing game with him and spend time with him. But, he said, he have girlfriend already. So, I think, I am lonely. I am used to it. No one want me but when there is someone beside me, they will just hurt me at the end. I am just an ugly girl.

"There is no forcing in love. If you love someone you should let him go even you still feel you love him. Please never give up and just wait.  Believe in miracle that will happen to make you two together."

I always take this is part of my life. I only have best friends, parents, siblings, families right now. And I am glad I have them. I used to have him as part of this life. But, I acted too over that makes him hate him. I regret. And 'sorry' is no longer available. There is no return to the old times... But there will always be a future time to make a change. I believe where is my destiny. I just hope, there is fate between me and him. Even though, it just a friend. As long as he could make me smile again.

Hm, sorry if I always get so emotional when it turns about love. I can't stop my self from doing it. By the way, I am not feeling well nowadays. Yesterday I got stomach cramping. I was asked to get rest and stop my knitting. but, should I? I don't know. I was easily get headache.. and sometimes it turns my sight so blurry. Is there something happen on me?

I am scared if I had to leave.. before seeing him.

Meow ^^

Annyeong haseayo!

Planet Award @ Max Pavilion.

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"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"... zzz its noisy..:3

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btw.. I am happy now.. Who can guess where I am now? =D
Please come to my place if you know where am I..  but.. don't tell anyone about it.


-love from Hualien :D

Hmm.

Nowadays it so silent. I hardly talk to him nor seeing him just in maple. He is avoiding me. Nor he asked me not to talk to his brother again. This is the reason why, I didn't trust boy or even start a relationship with them.I failed in friendship how about in more serious relationship? I'm sure I will failed too.

Hm, I don't know if I am being so emotional lately but things drag me. I was sick few days ago and now I am relieved. But, there is problem I had now. Lately I am so tired. Mentally and physically. I used to have him to release my pain so that I can feel better and energetic. However, it didn't work anymore nor he don't want me to care about him again. I am sad actually. Should I just... disappear?

I want to make a decision that I might not regret it one day but to think to leave him is already pain. I dont know what to do now. I like and love him but he didn't. How can I born this way? why.... everytime i love someone, it wont last long? is it fate? can i just have a chance?

I don't know if I am still breathing now. I feel like..... its empty. I bought a couple necklace that I am thinking to give him but we are not couple. So, I won't give it to him. My hand feel so numb to write this post. I want to make him happy ... then, should i just leave him? like what he want it to be?

I always thinking and ask my self whether I will be still alive tomorrow. Keep looking at the bright sky and shining star. The wind breeze making a soft sound and whispering me a thing that I cannot understand. Sometimes I close my eyes to think the way but I scared if its not the real one.

If I am not breathing tomorrow, will he remember me? I hope so and would like to tell him I will still wait for him. If I am not breathing again, I hope I still have a chance to look at him up there and protect him. I badly want to see him in real face-to-face and stare at his face. I was to see him smiling. When he cry, I want to lend him my shoulder and wipe his tears. When he is in hardship, I want to help to make it light and solve it.

People love other peoples because of their appearance. But for me, I can't explain why I love someone especially someone  like you. You give me power to move on when I broke up with my ex boyfriend but now you are leaving me.Is it because you have one? Maybe it could be. But I will be still waiting. Even I am not around, one thing  I want you to know, I will still wait for you until God takes me and its a promised. I was to see you badly. Please...

God........ please fulfil my wish... I want to see him badly.. If I still have a long life, can you just exchange it with seeing him in person and talk to him? please? I never feel like this before... It hurts me.. not to see him...its hurt so much. Even though it will disappoint me to see him... I still want to... I dont know if i am stubborn but i beg you for  this.

important ANNOUNCEMENT.

hye everyone. I guess I will be not around awhile. And I won't be able to maple since when i downloaded the new client.. my comp get error. Actually I was patched it.. but my maplestory exe gone as i run the patch. oh yeah, i won't be around too.. because I am not feeling okay lately. Maybe it just too tired from school because I had my exam. Sorry but I can't keep it up. My body too weak. Even now, I am typing this.. Very hard because I have lie down. I hope to see you guys soon. I am tired. give me break ...


LoveInaarah.608

so TODAY

today was kinda boring. I don't know but its totally boring.

its like..... lazy to WAKE UP!
and..... i won't let my body get up until 6.00am :D
because I was super tired. was sleep at 3.00am in the morning. so ....its totally like... 2-3 hours sleep.

so yeahhh.. today is.. Physic. i regret for one question which i was sure about but i rub the answer off and change it.... pfft. i hope i can resit it. HAHAHAH....
after that...................... urgh.. I feel like boring to write... can i.. have SLEEP now? i will be back .. as i wake up.. but .. on my book.. not with the laptop.. =D


love him more than anyone do. love him more than i love anyone else. =D
OH INA!
SHUT UP with your mouth.
get your butt to the book now!!!

old update on 20th June

This is just few picture during my birthday....

AIKO SUSHI MY BEST SUSHI PLACE :)

4th July

first of all , its HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to Wilfred ^^
yesterday was his birthday and almost everyone are forgetting it. Pity of him. but glad I remember yesterday and so greet him.


so today we had fun at school after stressing up with our exam Chemistry.
it was so damn HARD and we had not enough time to do it. I skip many question. that's not my fault. who ask teacher to make us answer all. to follow what Cambridge do, we only have to choose for essay part and the question won't be all on ORGANIC CHEMISTRY. zzz. I am kinda disappointed for the paper.


oh yeah, Fatin went home before I met her. because she HAD HEADACHE. I guess she have to resit the exam. all of us are going to zip our mouth for what question come out. its so damn hard.


since me, fifah and ummi were stress about it. zihah wasn't with us. she was busy with her boy friend. so... WE watch the aeroplane and jet that come from BRIDEX. lol. its FREE show. so... we take chair..waiting for every of it... come!


and... since its end, we watch some promotion introduced by Ummi. we are using mang yin's phone. since we are too good, we follow school's rule not to bring phone. :D so.. we spend much of our time with. it. :D and .... it was so FUN!

so... tonight, i END UP myself in HOSPITAL. because I am recently sick .  and today it was so worst that my sternum was very pain! so glad they put me in emergency room so i can be threaten faster. as usual, you were ask to *_______* to check the heart beat. Zzz.... the result will always come up with NO PROBLEM. then the doctor ask me, if I am under pressure. so then i told her, i have problem in my friendship. which end me up with vary pain headache. 

Crying

I'm listening to a song and it reminds me of him. My tears come out and I don't know how to control myself from crying. His words hurt me so much. I feel like no one want to be my friend. Maybe, I am born to be alone. No family, no friends, no soul-mate. I lose my hope now. I don't have mood to study. I don't care about my exam. For what do I have to study if I am not happy? Nor anyone won't be happy with that. I don't have people to support me. I hate myself. Such ugly, fat, lame person. That's me!

Why do I have to born if my life like this? I am getting stress with it. I think, when I cannot hold anything anymore, I decided to jump off from building or maybe.. should I just take a knife and cut my nerve? I feel like I want to die early. but i dont want to take die so easily....

Timothy,

He is my best friend. I don't know, when he is around, I will be happy. Now, it is hard for me to smile but so easy to let the tear drop falling to the ground. I regret for everything.

I don't believe anyone anymore. I can't trust anyone. I can't love anyone. I can't!!

When I trust them and love them, I end up with pain. I can't live this way. I don't have pride if its continuously like this. But please god, send me a real guy that can make me happy. I need it. For the sake of God and my health, I need it. I need to be love by someone before my last breath. Please make my wish come true.

for you. (letter)

Please Come again

Please come again to my blog! ^^