Crying

I'm listening to a song and it reminds me of him. My tears come out and I don't know how to control myself from crying. His words hurt me so much. I feel like no one want to be my friend. Maybe, I am born to be alone. No family, no friends, no soul-mate. I lose my hope now. I don't have mood to study. I don't care about my exam. For what do I have to study if I am not happy? Nor anyone won't be happy with that. I don't have people to support me. I hate myself. Such ugly, fat, lame person. That's me!

Why do I have to born if my life like this? I am getting stress with it. I think, when I cannot hold anything anymore, I decided to jump off from building or maybe.. should I just take a knife and cut my nerve? I feel like I want to die early. but i dont want to take die so easily....

Timothy,

He is my best friend. I don't know, when he is around, I will be happy. Now, it is hard for me to smile but so easy to let the tear drop falling to the ground. I regret for everything.

I don't believe anyone anymore. I can't trust anyone. I can't love anyone. I can't!!

When I trust them and love them, I end up with pain. I can't live this way. I don't have pride if its continuously like this. But please god, send me a real guy that can make me happy. I need it. For the sake of God and my health, I need it. I need to be love by someone before my last breath. Please make my wish come true.